How Can I Love You?
by JJ CJ
Summary: Rate for Slash - AU - Harry is an Orphan who lives at a boarding School. Draco is going to the smae school, and He won't be going back home. Two sad souls meet. What will come of it? chp3 up
1. Prologue

**How Can I Love You?**   
A Harry Potter Fanfic

"Speaking"   
_Thinking_   
="On The Phone"= 

I decided I would have to write one.I do _not_ claim to be any sort of Genuis on the matter, but I have read all the books and am _patiently_ waiting for the next one.(J.K., If you're reading this, wich you're probably not, that was a Jab. WRITE, woman, WRITE!!) (It's number six right? Wow, it's almost over...) Anyways, This is Slash, Shonen-ai, Yaoi, Whatever you want to call it, It's Harry and Draco. Two dudes who like each other. Said and done. Anywee, on with the fic! Oh yeah, and It's AU. :) ENJOY! 

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Harry Potter looked around the ltest room he would be staying in. He had been living at this school for the past ten years of his life. His parents had payed for his schooling, right up to grade twelve, then went off and _died_ on him. He had inherited all of the money they had, wich was a considerable amount, and was living here, at this boarding school. All things considered, it wasn't that bad a life. He could have been on the streets, begging, but instead he had somewhere to stay, all year round, friends, enough money to keep him out of trouble when he graduated, and an education. 

So yeah, all things considered, it wasn't a bad life. It really all depended on who his room-mate was. 

---------- 

Draco Malfoy glared at his father, Lucius Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy glared at his son, Draco Malfoy. Who would be the first to break? 

"I'm leaving." 

Lucius looked away from his son, who alowed himself one small victory. 

"I won't allow it." 

Draco glared even harder. 

"Oh yes you will. Because you won't have a say in it. I'm going to go off to this damn boarding school you've chosen, and I'm not coming home. They let students stay all year. And if they ask why I don't go home, I'll tell them the truth." 

Lucius looked back at his son. 

"And that would be?" 

Draco smiled a sad smile. 

"That I have an abusing father, a mother who doesn't even know I'm alive and that I live in the worst possible conditions for someone my age. I have pictures you know." 

Draco grabbed his bag and walked out the door to the waiting cab. 

---------- 

Professor McGonagal nocked on Harry's door. After a moment it opened. Just a little, but it opened. "Yes, Professor?" came the quiet boy's voice. 

"Your room-mate is here, Mr. Potter." 

"Mm. Just a sec." The door closed. There was a sound of a few drawers being opened and closed and the door opened again. This time an average height young man with a mop of unruly black hair steped into the dorm hallway. "Hello." 

The young man who had been behind the Professor stepped forward. "Hello." He had slicked back pale blonde hair, and stood about three inches taller than Harry. The two seemed to size each other up for a moment, before Harry stepped aside. "Come one in. And welcome to your dorm." He smiled slightly at the young man, hoping to make a new friend. The other smiled back as he walked into the room, hope, secretly, for the same thing. 

---------- 

After having put all of his worldly belongings away, Draco sat down on the bed. Harry put down the book he had been reading. Slowly he stood up and walked over to the blonde. "My name's Harry Potter, It's a pleasure to meet you." He extended a hand, wich Draco accepted. 

"I'm Draco Malfoy." 

"This is your first year here?" 

"Uh, yeah." 

"Welcome to a new life." 

"wha-?" 

Harry smiled, a little sadly. "Most students here stay all year round. Most of them either don't have parents, or their parents abuse them. I can only guess why your here, but even if you go home for the summer this isn't likely to be a year you'll ever forget." He turned towards the door. "Want the dime tour?" 

"Sure." 

And so they went, Harry pointing out the things he would need to know, telling him things about teachers, which teachers to avoid outside of classes, which teachers helped out, which teachers you could talk to if you had problems, at home or school, where the science lab was, where the gym was.... 

---------- 

Yeah. It could work as a one shot, but, it'd need a little more to it....Anyways, this is short and Easy Part one, the prologue. Enjoy! If you want to see more, press the litttle blue button down there. :smiles: See ya! 


	2. Chapter 1

**How Can I Love You?**   
A Harry Potter Fanfic

"Speaking"   
_Thinking_   
!!"On The Phone"ii 

J0. I's back. I decided to continue after getting a nice review from someone!! giggels Yesh, Yesh, one review is not much, but I'm a succer! Soooo...this goes out to Visitor-to-the-Echoside, who reviewd so kindly!! 

------------ 

Draco had been at the school for a few months now. Life was progressing....well, one couldn't say as usual, for nothing seemed to be usual around here. It was usual to come into his dorm room to find his roommate crying himself to sleep. It was usual to find any number of young people sitting around in small groups not saying anything. It was usual.... 

No. _No_ He would _not_ be going down that path. Not today. Today was good....so far. 

------------ 

Harry looked up from his homework as his roommate entered the room. He smiled slightly. "Hey, Draco. How was class?" 

Draco sighed and flopped - No other word for it - into one of the chairs in their room. "You do _not_ want to know. That annoying - what's her name? Patty? Pansy? Something like that. - she was hitting on me in Gym class again." He sighed. " Yeah. So how'd it go for you?" 

"Hermione Granger again. She decided to upstage me in class again." He put on a rather good falsetto, " No, No No, _Mr._ Potter! You put the - " He grinned. "BOOM!! Yeah, what ever it was she put in my Lab Expiriment, She didn't check what I'd put in first. So, you know...chemical reactions and all, It exploded. Needless to say, Snape is less than pleased that two of his best students managed to blow the lab up....again......." He laughed. Gods, Draco loved that sound....."Yeah, that's what - the fifth time this week?" 

Draco blinked..._Did I just think what I thought I thought? What did I just think? I love the sound of his laugh....?_ He shook his head, resolving to wonder about it later. 

------------ 

Hermione glared at Professor Snape, who had decided to give her a detention, but not Potter. _Damn little snot. He's got everything he wants, the teachers like him..._ "You want me to do _what?_" She practicaly yelled at the Sciences Instuctor. 

"Miss Granger. Please Refrain from yelling. I merely want you to clean up the mess you made when you decided to tinker with Potter's expiriment." He gestured expansivley at the room, a good half of which was covered in goo and various degrees of burns. Luckily, they had a spare science room to teach the class after hers in. Hermione cursed Potter's name again, and set to cleaning. 

------------ 

"...and then of course Ron and I made fools of ourselves during Drama. WE were chosen to act out a scene from Romeo and Juliet. Guess who got stuck as Juliet." 

"Oh. My. God. Than must have been damn funny to the rest of the class." 

Harry grinned. "You better beleive it. Consider that we acctualy managed to fit in a fake smooch. The rest of the class was roaring by the time we were done." 

Harry and Draco looked at each other and burst out in laughter. 

"You...You seriously did that?" 

"Yup. Come on, It's Drama! You're supposed to make an ass of yourself." 

"Maybe I should sign up for next semester or whatever." 

Harry smiled. _It'd be great to have Draco in my Drama class. He'd probably kill them....._

"So how did your _other_ classes go?" 

Draco wiped his eyes. "They were okay, considering those two thugs...what are their names? Grabb and Coyle? Crabb and Goyle? Something like that. Anyways, They decided to be wise guys in English Lit. and botch up the reasoning behind Hamlet's insanity. And I quote: 'He was nuts causa his anut married his dad and then his aut married his uncle and his dad died and his mom married his uncle and then everyone died.' I don't know where he got the aunt from." Draco shook his head, looked at Harry....after a few seconds they sarted laughing again. 

"Ever hear the saying, Everyone's Dumb except me? That seems to hold especially true at this school." And they were away laughing on a fast camel. (1) 

------------ 

"Hey Harry, Morning Draco!" Harry and Draco turned towards the voice on their way down to the 'Barraks', as the students called them, for breakfast. They were met with three red-headed young men, by the names of Fred, George and Ron Weasly, all three of whom were friends of Harry and Draco, despite the former two being two years older. 

"Morning Gred, Reorge and Fon. I mean Rred, Feorge and Gon...I mean....." Fred patted Harry's shoulder. 

"It's okay Harry, we know what you're trying to say." 

Draco smiled. "Are you sure you guys aren't triplets?" 

Gearge puffed out his chest. "As sure as we are that we're Freaslys. I mean, Reaslys. I mean....Dammit! Harry this is your fault!" 

And so began a game of Tag all the way down the the Barraks. 

------------ 

After breakfast, the five of them headed down to the post office, where all the letters to the students were kept. 

"Morning Post-Master!" Ron called brightly. "Anything for Fred, George or Ron Weasley?" 

"Or Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy for that matter." Harry cut in. 

"Just a moment, boys, let me check." The man came back a moment later with five letters and a package in his hand. "Alright, these three and for the weasly boys..."He handed the named three their letters, "This is for Malfoy, and these two are for Potter." The handed Draco a letter, and to Harry her gave the package and finaly letter. Harry looked surprised that he had gotten anything. 

_I wonder what it is....._

------------ 

(1) - Does anyone know Georgia Nicholson? Then you know where I got this. ::nodnod:: 

So, Is it good? Sorry it took me so long to update this story...... 


	3. Chapter 2

**How Can I Love You?**   
A Harry Potter Fanfic

"Speaking"   
_Thinking_   
!!"On The Phone"ii 

AUTHOUR'S NOTES -- 

Yup. I'm back at it. After the phenomonal succsess of some of my stories - and I still can't see why you guys like them so much - I decided to keep this one moving. I'm enjoying writing this one 'cause I can't use all my anime lingo, which makes me think of other ways to express what they feel. Wow. That was a very detailled little authour's note wasn't it? Time to go off and say something idiotic and useless, or I might start a habit. 

Cheese only rains on tuesdays. 

Okay now we're good 

------------ 

Harry and Draco headed up to their room, both with their letters - and I Harry's case package - in hand. Today was Saturday, so they could afford to sit in their room and talk. Of course, they would have to go face the world again, at some point or another, which they would. At some point or another. When they reached their room, they each flopped - again, there's really no other word for it (1) - into their chairs. The two teenagers looked at each other, then at their letters, then at each other again. Finnaly They both said at the smae time: 

"You go first." 

Draco sighed. "Fine." 

With Harry watching, he slit open the envolope, pulled out a piece of paper and read aloud: "Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy... 

"

_We are sorry to inform you that your father, one Mr. Lucius Malfoy, has disowned you and left you, until your eighteenth birthday, in the care of the boarding school you are attending. _

" 

It was signed by his father and some government big-wig. 

Draco's eyes hardened. "Good. Now I never have to go back to that piece of crap household. (2) It's way better staying here anyways. The school's given me a better life than I _ever_ had over there." He looked over at Harry, who was nodding, having heard about Draco's childhood over the months. "So, what's yours?" 

Harry quickly decided to open the letter first. "My dearest Harry, " he read, crinkling up his nose - in a way that Draco couldn't help but find adorable - at this introduction... 

"

_I'm sure you no longer remember me, but This is your god-father, Sirius Black. I have been over seas for the past fifteen years, and was only just alerted as to your state of orphan. I am writing to offer you a stable environment, as I'm sure the boarding school you are staying at --_

" 

Harry abruptly stopped reading and crumpled up the letter. "Yeah I remember him. I talked to him twice over the phone when I was five, about a month before....anyways, the bastard's always thought himself above the rest of us. Never came by to say hello. Didn't even show up at the funeral. I'm not going to stay with him. this school's the only constant I have." Harry quickly looked at the writing on the outside of the package, and recognised it as the same as the letter and threw away from him. He drew his knees up to his chest and started to cry, knowing that, while he was still a minor, he could do nothing if Sirius decided it would be best for the young man to come stay with his godfahter. 

Draco looked sadly at Harry, trying to figure out what he could do to make his room-mate feel better, but knowing also, that sometimes one needed a good cry. Throwing caution to the winds, he made his way across the room, and knelt down beside Harry's chair, wrapping his arms around the distraught teen. Slowly he rubbed soothing circles on Harry back, whispering 'shh's and 'it's okay's in his ear. Harry leaned against the blond haired boy and quickly made himself comfortable in that warm embrace. After about ten minutes, Harry's sniffles subsided and Draco drew back from him a little bit so he could see the black haired teen's face. He smiled a little. 

"Hey, It's gonna be alright, okay? I'll always be here for you, no matter what. If you ever need a shoulder, I'm here for you, okay? What're friends for, after all, if not to comfort you when you're down?" 

Harry smiled back, glad for another constant in his life. "thank you," he whispered. He quickly tucked himself back into Draco's arms. "Is it okay if we stay like this a little while longer?" he mumbled against grey-eyed one's collar. 

Draco tightened his arms around the green-eyed boy's body. "Sure. For as long as you want." 

------------ 

They did, in fact stay in their room the whole day, but that was because Harry had quickly fallen asleep in Draco's arms, and Draco didn't the heart to leave him in the chair, so he had slowly moved the boy in his arms to his proper bed, tucked him in and sat down on the floor next to him with a book in his hands, wondering what was going to come of this. _Does he feel the same way I do? It felt so right, with him in my arms...he's just......he's everything. What would I do without him? He's practically the only one keeping me here, other than the fact that before now the only other place for me to go was to my dad.....but now.....what's gonna happen? Is this going to make things wierd?......_ As these thoughts ran through his head, he didn't notice himself dropping off to sleep, head resting against the bed. 

------------ 

When Harry woke up, at around five, it was to see Draco's sleeping form sprawled out against the bed. He smiled a little and watched his room-mate sleep for a little while. _He's adorable...he looks so vulnerable while he's sleeping. He's sweet and kind and nice and he guinely seems to care. I've heard him come in, late at night after detention or what -ever, I've seen him stop himself waking me up to ask what's wrong...he didn't want to wake me...a nd that time I wasn't feeling well, he went and got me breakfast.....he's .....he's.......my one real constant....._ Harry smiled and soon fell asleep, again, dreaming of a world where he could voice his thoughts to the one he was thinking of. 

------------ 

There you go. Chapter three. be happy, all my reviewers! 

Oh Great Reviwers! I Brink You Offerings Of Sappy Fanfiction Chapters. Please Review My Work And Do Not Smote Me From The Face Of FanFiction-Dom! ::bows down before the reviewers:: 

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(1) - And I know this for a fact. I looked it up in the thesaurus, and it wasn't even in there. I even looked up fell, and various other such words, to see if it was a slang synonym, but it wasn't. So I'm telling the truth.   
(2) - Shit. I have gave Draco one of my Speech patterns. I always say "Piece of Crap (insert thing here)" or "Piece of crap piece of crap!" 


	4. Chapter 3

**How Can I Love You?**   
A Harry Potter Fanfic

"Speaking"   
_Thinking_   
!!"On The Phone"ii 

AUTHOUR'S NOTES --   
Welp. Here I am again, staring at another blank notepad document, wondering what the hell promted me to start writing these damn things. Oh well. Something more for you to bug me about. 

This Chapter Dedicated to Lief, Because She updated her fic, and I promised to update one of mine in return. For, Ms. Lief, a Special Christmas Chapter! Enjoy! 

------------ 

Over the next couple of weeks, Harry and Draco became closer than ever. Though both had secret reservations, worried that the other didn't feel the way he did. 

------------ 

Soon Christmas rolled by, and every one was in a state, getting ready for the holidays. Some students getting ready to go home to their families, while others tried to find ways to get gifts for thier families that they had at the school. The teachers were decidedly more relaxed with their rules as the holidays approached. They were organising more and more trips into town for students to do their Christmas shopping and most were glad for it. 

------------ 

"C'mon, Draco! We've only got two hours!" 

"_ONLY???_" 

Harry and Draco rushed into the local mall, thier arms already laden with many gifts. "Alright, so we meet here in an hour and a half, which gives us enough time to shop and then we'll have lunch and head back to the school, okay?" Harry asked. 

Draco nodded and the went thier seperate ways. 

------------ 

Harry looked around the bookstore, heading right towards the section he knew he would find the perfect book in. Being Draco's roomate, he knew one thing that would secure the greatest gift: Draco loved Fantasy novels. It was the blond teen's little secret, which Harry had discovered. He walked straight to one shelf in particular. He ran his finger along the titles until he found the one book he knew Draco had been looking for for months. _He'll love it! This'll be the greatest Christmas gift ever! But It needs something else......_ Harry payed for the book and left the store heading off in a definite way towards the nearest HMV. _He said he wanted that CD......._

------------ 

Draco stared at the endless rows of Comic Books. When Harry'd found out what his books were, he'd let slip that he loved Comic Books. Especially one series in particular..... 

He truned towards the desk. "Uhm, excuse me, sir?" 

"What can I do for you?" 

"Well, a friend of mine loves this one series, and I was wondering if you had any of them...." 

------------ 

At the agreed upon time, Harry and Draco met at the food court and split the price of two soft tacos at Taco Time, that being the cheapest thing. Both were trying to hide their purchases from the other. 

"So, What do you say we get everyone together to open gifts? You. me. Ron, Fred and George?" Harry asked. 

Draco nodded. "Sure, why not. Sort of like a family, considering we practically are." 

------------ 

It was Christmas Eve and the staff had decided to put on a banquet for the students, who were ecstatic at this turn of events. They entirety of the staff, students and cleaning crew ate, drank and were merry long into the night. Of course, no one was alowed any alchohol, much to the disapointment of some of the teachers and older students. 

Harry and Draco walked into their room, waving goodbye to Ron, Fred and George as they continued singing various bawdy renditions of christmas carols. 

The Brunet flopped (1) onto his bed, laughing. "Well, I'll see you in the morning, Draco! Merry Christmas!" 

His only response was a slight snore as Draco fell asleep on his own bed. 

------------ 

"HARRY, DRACO! Wake up, you sleepy heads! It's Christmas!" 

"Nmmm....I'm up, Ron, I'm up, no need to yell....." 

"Yes there is! It's Christmas!" 

"You said that already......" 

"You too Draco! And open the door so we can get in!" 

The three Weasly brothers were soon let in by two very sleepy roomates, who were soon awake, and as excited as the other three. They went around in a circle exchanging gifts and jokes, everyone laughing, and generaly having a good time. Ron got several bags pf jelly beans from , well, pretty much everyone. Fred and George got cherry bombs, spray paints, whoopie cushions, fake vomit, invisible ink......etc. Harry recieved a couple of CDs, namely home-made ones Fred and George had managed to con their friends into making, as well as a few of the latest X-men comics from Ron. The greatest gift, though, was a boxed set of the Essential X-Men, in full color(2) that Draco had bought him. He was stunned. 

"Draco....How much did this cost?" 

"Draco shrugged. "Not too much..."(3) 

Draco got some CDs, mostly Beatles, as he was a fan. From Harry, however, he got a hardcover book (as well as the Beatles 1 CD) that he had been looking for _ages_ for. The Hardcover edition of SoulMusic, by one Mr. Terry Pratchett. (4) 

------------ 

Eventually, everyone left to go show off ther new gifts to their other friends and Harry and Draco were left alon in thier room. 

"Draco?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Thank you....." 

Draco turned to smile at Harry. "It's no problem really. Think of it as a thank you gift for helping me out over the past few months. You've been a pal. Don't think I could've done it without you, mate." 

Harry smiled back. "Hey, I wasn't entirely unselfish about it. I'm just glad ot have made a friend so easily. Some of my past roomates have been real losers, y'know?" 

Suddenly, there came a knock at the door, Harry went to answer it. "Oh! Proffesor McGonagal! Come in!" 

The strickt teacher stepped in, sort of smiling, though one, if they knew her well enough, would know that something was worrying her. "Mr. Potter, this came for you today. We thought it might be something for the holidays, so we decided to bring it up to you." 

"That's very kind of you, Thank you, Proffesor. Merry Christmas!" 

"Merry Christmas to you two too, Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, Have a nice afternoon." 

After she left the room, Harry sat down on his bed and looked at the envelopeshe had handed to him. 

"Who's it from?" Draco asked, looking up from the CD player - which they had bought with their pooled together money a little while back - where he was trying to play one of the CDs they had gotten. 

"Sirius Black." 

"Not that git again?" 

"Yeah.....My dearest Harry..... 

_"Merry Christmas and Happiest Holiday wishes! I was dissapointed that you didn't respond to my earlier letter, I was hoping you would. Doesn't the idea of having a family appeal to you? --_

"I've already got a family thank you very much.... 

"_Did you get my gift? If you didn;t it was just some clothes that I though might do you some good over the winter months. God knows how well they clothe and treat you there. --_

"Better than he would..." Growling, Harry crumpled up this latest letter and tosed it in the trash. Sighing he leaned his head agaisnts his knees. "He's just gonna keep trying, isn't he? I wish he could just go away and leave me alone. I'm fine were I am....doesn;t he get that?" Soon his shoulders began to quake, as though with silent sobs. Just like he did the last tiem, Draco got up from where he was sitting and went to go comfort his friend. 

"Hey, It's gonna be alright, Harry. Your parents entrusted this place with you... All the teachers love you, they'd probably put up a fight if someone wanted you to leave. C'mon, babe, stop crying...." Draco whispered comforting words to Harry not noticing when he slipped and used one of the nicknames he had for Harry, as 'Let It Be' slowly floated through the speakers of their CD player. Draco soon found himself singing the words softly to the Dark haired biy in his arms. 

"_When I find myself in times of trouble   
Mother Mary comes to me   
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.   
And in my hour of darkness   
She is standing right in front of me   
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.   
And when the broken hearted people   
Living in the world agree,   
There will be an answer, let it be.   
For though they may be parted there is   
Still a chance that they will see   
There will be an answer, let it be.   
Let it be, let it be. Yeah   
There will be an answer, let it be.   
And when the night is cloudy,   
There is a light that shines on me,   
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.   
I wake up to the sound of music,   
Mother Mary comes to me,   
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.   
Let it be, let it be.   
There will be an answer, let it be._

As he finished singing, he noticed Harry had fallen asleep. Smiling to himself, Draco lightly kissed the top of Harry's head, still huming the soothing tune of the music. 

------------ 

(1) - That word again. I lve that word. And yes, I know I overuse it.   
(2) - I don't know if this exists, but I do know that there is an Essentials X-Men line, but It's in black and white. I own it. I know. I'm giving chraracters my traits. I'm sorry.   
(3) - It was on sale. ::nodnod::   
(4) - I _know_ this exists. I own the paperback version, as I couldn't afford the other one. See appology in note number 2. 

------------ 

So, Lief? How'd ya like it? I hope it wasn't too crappy and short, and I know there are spelling mistakes that I'm too lazy to go back and fix, but there you go, Chapter...what is it...three? Anyways, the Latest Chapter of HCILY. See y'all around. 

Dammit, I'm not southern! 


End file.
